Title: A Lesser Evil
Prompt: (from Meggs) What he doesn't know won't hurt him
Not one word. Not one word came to the usually self assured Shinigami as he watched Kira from the window unseen. The sweet blond stood in the courtyard below, eyes fixed on some random point in the sky.
Years of working with Tousen had taught Shuuhei many levels of awareness. He could read a person from the slightest alteration of their usual mannerisms. Looking into the sky in itself was not so unusual but the prolonged focus and the tenseness he could read in the young man's stance suggested a desperation. He was searching. Searching for the hole in the sky that would signal Ichimaru's hand reaching back to him and promising to dissolve the growing webs of doubt and worthlessness in his heart.
He wanted to offer comfort.
Back when he'd been Kira's senpai, when the near idol worship of Gin had been just that and before Kira's heart had been altered. Forever crusted over with the fragility of love and loyalty that in Shuuhei's opinion was horribly misplaced. Back then was when he should have done something. He should have stepped up and done what needed to be done- no matter how horrible- to shatter his underclassman's illusion about the smiling liar.
Granted at the time, he thought it was out of concern for the boy not the first whispers of what would become a deep affection and gnawing desire to possess him.
Those feelings were more than enough motivation but they were also the problem. Shuuhei wanted to give Kira something more than he'd gotten from Ichimaru. Something real. He could guess that the fantasies he had were physically not all that different from what Ichimaru had done.
Scars on pale skin. Tears of protest dirtying his beautiful face. A smile of pleasure when the fight to be respected stopped being as important as the beautiful pain and lids shuttered closed in defeat.
Until now he'd kept such things to himself. All Kira needed to see when he looked at him and looked to him was a strong example and at times a playful friend. Shuuhei had pushed his feelings aside much as he had done for the brief time he'd dreamed only of Tousen. That phase had passed and he'd assumed this would as well. It had been to protect Kira he told himself. After all, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
As Shuuhei walked down the stairs and into the courtyard where Kira stood he knew that wasn't the truth. Kira didn't know his true feelings because Shuuhei didn't want to be the one hurt. The truth would mean exposing the almost sinister need he had for the younger man. To expose to the sun the desire that slept next door to the kindness he had revealed.
Rather than feel shame, he choose to cover the distance between them. Bare arms wrapped around a startled Kira drawing his attention from the sky that would forever remain empty and indifferent to him. Just as Ichimaru's eyes, Kira had once confided in him.
Words touched his ears with heat before their meaning entered his mind. "Izuru, I want you. I always have. Let me give you back what he stole from you. Let me take what he dared not."
Kira felt himself be spun to face the depths of Shuuhei's eyes before his head was forced to tilt back and accept the swarming kiss Shuuhei assulted him with. Kira's limbs fell to his sides as the kiss took him over making him weightless while Shuuhei let go of his fear.
Though neither knew what would come, both of their heart's burdens were lightened.