It should have bothered him. Shuuhei knew that. Those places in Kira's soul that were damaged beyond what he could understand. Places that Ichimaru-taicho had broken beyond repair. And this was just one of those places.
The blond didn't know that he was standing there, watching him from the bathroom doorway. He was completely unaware of anything except his obsessive need to scrub away all evidence of what had just transpired between them. He was repeatedly scrubbing his body everywhere that Shuuhei had touched him, including a rigorous scrubbing of his backside. Shuuhei felt only the slightest twinge of guilt watching as the younger man used two fingers to insure that the wash cloth could clean his orifice. The face he made told Shuuhei that there was some physical pain in this ritual cleansing and it was only through the stoic training he had received to become an officer of the Shinigami that Shuuhei was able to not rush into the shower to stop it.
But was that really all? He did enjoy watching Kira beneath him, moaning and writhing. He enjoyed seeing the pale skin flush with pleasure and marked with love bites. Sometimes there were even light bruises from his strong hands holding the slim man down, or gripping his hips too tightly. He never intended to harm his lover, but when they were in the heat of passion, Kira could break through that unshakable exterior to the animal within him. It was only in those private times, without the need for boundaries or limits that Shuuhei felt totally alive.
There was more to it than that, even. It was the only time that he knew that Kira felt totally alive.
Even before there was Ichimaru Gin, there was something in Kira that made him crave the abuse and pain that his taicho was more than happy to provide. He needed the humiliating training and sexual degradation just to feel anything at all. There was some deep hole in his soul that could only be filled and satisfied with those horrible things he suffered at the hands of Ichimaru-taicho.
When they had first fallen together, in the throws of grief at both losing the captains that they had loved and admired in the depths of their souls, Shuuhei had thought that what Kira needed was tenderness. An understanding that he had been abused and used horribly. But what he had found instead was that there was no pleasure to be found in being gentle and timid in their lovemaking. The intensity of Kira's moans of pleasure that first time Shuuhei had pulled Kira's hair and bitten down on his shoulder only encouraged more. As time went by, it became apparent that nothing was taboo once they were behind closed doors.
There were moments of doubt, of fear, that he was just continuing negative patterns in the delicate man's heart and soul. But then the electric pulses began between them and he could no longer worry about such matters, and the one thing on his mind, the one thing that drew all of his focus was making Kira's body shake in pain and pleasure. The absolute possession was all that he could think about.
His eyes followed the steam as it rose out of the shower stall, the heat of the water Kira was using to cleanse himself was turning his pale skin pink. Shuuhei's dark eyes fell down from the steam puffs, taking in the body that was just barely screened by the steamed and clouded glass door. As familiarity filled in the details of the blurry image, he found that his mind was turning from contemplation and reflection to more earthly and bawdy thoughts.
He dropped the robe that he had casually pulled on as he'd crossed the room to check on Kira. His naked feet didn't make a sound as he stalked across the floor, his body turning from a lazy cat to a vicious predator with every step. Kira was turned away, his face up to the stream of water, it's rushing sound muting his usually keen hearing. The door of the shower slid open soundlessly, a plume of steam curling out and around Shuuhei.
For a moment, he just stood, admiring the lines of Kira's thin, beautiful body. The cascades of water made him shine in a way that would have taken Shuuhei's breath away had he not already gone into the intense mood of a predator with his mind already plotting out his attack. His body moved now, sliding the door closed and with one hand pressing Kira forward into the wall of the shower.
The blond cried out in shock- both from the sudden presence of another person in what he believed to be his solitary ritual and the chill of the porcelain tiles suddenly against his skin. The sound made Shuuhei smirk. He pressed his body close to Kira's, keeping the pressure steady so that he could not get away from the discomfort of the hard chilly tiles. The other hand roamed over the warmed skin, feeling the patches that had been scrubbed too hard and the soft untouched expanses also.
He wanted to whisper to him, he wanted to taunt him with words. Yet focusing that much of his attention on just the right thing to say, just the right tone to make Kira tremble would waste time and energy that could be better used to do the same physically.
He twisted Kira's arm back harder, smirking at the sound his lover made. The soft utterance made him wrench it harder, to get another lovely protest. His cock ached with the need to release, but he could not just take Kira that way. There was no real pleasure in just fulfilling the physical need immediately.
Grabbing the wet hair hanging down the back of Kira's neck, Shuuhei wrenched his head back and pressed his insistent erection against Kira's back. The blond's eyes went wide and Shuuhei took a moment to admire the deep aquamarine colour before using the grip on his arm and hair to turn with Kira. The hot water started crashing down on the top of Kira's head and most of it fell over his face.
Though he struggled and tried, Kira could not keep the water from covering his nose and mouth. He sputtered and struggled to breathe as Shuuhei held him firmly in place. Only about half a minute passed before Shuuhei released Kira's hair, allowing the younger man to spit out the water in his mouth and gasp in a few deep breaths. Shuuhei found that the coughing and panting were a pleasure to hear. He smirked, sliding his free hand down to tease Kira's ass, feeling the muscles tighten in protest then relax to the probing of his fingers. The surrender that he felt in Kira's body was so very sexy and, not removing his fingers, he began to slowly ease his cock into his lover's ass, stretching it out.
It was a long, slow process forcing his cock into Kira's ass, eventually replacing his fingers entirely. But Kira's body was happy to accept it, the muscles relaxing and tightening just right to encourage deep penetration.
Ah but his Kira was such an obliging whore, Shuuhei thought affectionately.
Slowly he eased in and out of the hot ass, making them both moan a little. Kira's body was sore, both from his harsh scrubbing and the hours of fucking that had occurred right before it. Shuuhei knew that part of what was making his cock slick was blood from tiny tears in Kira's sweet tender flesh. But that was part of what was making him so hard and making Kira moan so loudly. But it wasn't enough. Shuuhei had done so much to Kira in the course of the night and now, as dawn was approaching them, he wanted more. Something new.
The hand that had been keeping a firm grip on Kira's hip moved out and grabbed the hand that was balancing Kira against the wall of the shower. Shuuhei held both hands against Kira's back, managing to get a solid grip with just one hand. He reached for the back scrubber he had gotten for Kira to use when he stayed over. It was basically just an oversized scrubbie with two long rope loops made to be held onto to guide the scrubbie over the back.
He released Kira's hands just long enough to get the ends of the loops in both hands with the scrubbie in front of Kira. He positioned it over Kira's hard cock and pulled the loops behind Kira's back, forcing his hands thru both loops. With a little creative twisting, the bondage was complete, Kira's hands held tightly against his back, pinkies bent out almost painfully and the constant irritation of the scrubbie against his cock and balls.
Shuuhei had been forced to pull out of Kira's ass while he secured the bondage but now he was free to begin fucking him again. And he did, hard and deep, making Kira gasp out and shake a little under his hard grips on his hips.
Now that he had Kira where he wanted him, Shuuhei's hand grabbed the blond hair again. Wrapping his other hand around Kira's waist, he pulled back on his hair, forcing the pale beautiful face under the water from the showerhead. Kira's open, panting mouth was almost instantly filled with water that was becoming cooler. Shuuhei released his hair, allowing Kira to gasp for breath.
That was so sexy, Shuuhei thought. He was not going to break the illusion of danger that they were both getting off on by speaking, by offering a compliment to his darling little whore. Maybe later. Maybe after they were done here.
He was thrusting harder now, using the arm around Kira's waist to pull him almost violently onto his eager hard cock. His hand found its grip again in Kira's hair and pulled him back under the now ice cold water. He held him there a little longer before releasing him. And it continued like this, Shuuhei fucking hard and forcing Kira's face under the water. He kept the intervals between pulling him under the water and letting him go random, not wanting to let Kira find comfort in a defined rhythm.
Kira's head was under the water, struggling for breath when his body stiffened and he came into the scrubbie. The whimpering sound he made when Shuuhei let him go, pushed his vicious lover over the edge and almost immediately, Kira's head was under the water as Shuuhei's cock pulsed and pushed deep to dump his load of hot cum inside Kira's ass. As he came, Shuuhei's grip on both Kira's hair and waist tightened and his head rocked forward, biting down hard on Kira's pale shoulder.
Both Shinigami were still dripping wet and Shuuhei had not had the steadiness of hand to undo Kira's bondage when they crashed onto the bed. He barely managed to pull the comforter over their shivering chilled bodies as they drifted off to sleep.