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Contest entry - fic 
22nd-Aug-2008 07:53 am
kamineko
Title: Not the Only One
Author: ainnahas
Pairing: Shuuhei/Kira, implied Kensei/Shuuhei
Warnings: aside from crappy writing? Well, it's unbetaed.
Rating: PG, I'd say.
Word count: 441
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

 

Not the Only One



Kira Izuru lay wide awake, curled on his side beside his sleeping lover on the messed-up bed. His fingertips traced idle patterns on the sleeping one's skin, following the soft shadows and highlights cast by the gentle moonlight from their bedroom window and trying to memorize all the dips and rises while letting his wandering thoughts keep him from falling asleep. This had become more frequent lately - maybe they were falling into a pattern, Kira noted as his fingers ghosted over the other's jaw.


The touches moved over his chin, over slightly parted lips, across the left cheek and stopped under the cheekbone, where the man's tattoo was just visible in the dim night light. Kira frowned.


He had hated that tattoo ever since he had come to know Hisagi Shuuhei. At first, in the academy, it had just been something that bothered him – why, when he was really such a good and honourable person, would he want a tattoo like that? And then annoyance towards other people's reactions – that stupid number gave everyone the wrong kind of image – Shuuhei wasn't like that, he was a good role model and a trustworthy friend and a skilled fighter, not someone who would go and warm everyone's bed just like that. And when they had started seeing each other, Shuuhei had finally opened up to Kira about what the tattoo really was and why did he have it.


Kira had learned to hate the tattoo and everything it stood for. He, being the polite and mild-mannered person he was, of course hid it from his boyfriend as well as he could, but there were some moments when just one glance at it would make Kira feel sick.


He was not the only one.


To Kira, that tattoo meant that Hisagi Shuuhei belonged to someone else. The fact that he had offered himself to that man from his own free will and voluntarily marked himself, was the thing that annoyed Kira the most. He had the tattoo in his face and he wore it with pride even though he had Kira in his bed and his life.


Lightly enough not to disturb his lover's sleep, Kira scratched his nails across the tattoo. He wondered if he'd be able to just claw it off before Shuuhei awoke or if he should get Wabisuke – and what would Shuuhei think when instead of that tattoo, he would have a scar, Kira's scar, that would inform his stupid childhood crush and everyone else that getting involved with him meant facing Kira and Wabisuke -


And perhaps then he'd be the only one in Shuuhei's heart.


Comments 
22nd-Aug-2008 06:01 am (UTC)
Oh, wow, that was pretty intense. That jealous side of Kira is rather brutal, damn. Great job, grabbed my attention, that's for sure [and isn't that what good writing is supposed to do?]

;D
23rd-Aug-2008 09:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks~ I'm happy if it made an impact.

(well, really bad writing grabs attention too, right?)
24th-Aug-2008 02:51 am (UTC)
Yeeah, but not in the same way. I go with the 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all' kindergarten thing.
22nd-Aug-2008 06:11 am (UTC)
Wow, that was amazing. I love the thought of Kira being possessive. I got chills while reading that. Very well done!!!!

*fangirl squee*
23rd-Aug-2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
Chills and squees? Wow. I feel all flattered now. ^_^
22nd-Aug-2008 06:16 am (UTC)
I don't think having a story that hasn't been betaed is considered crappy. I never proofread my own things lest I'm reading it in the future for fun, anyway. xD And this wasn't bad at all, it was quite intense.

Izuru's harshness and possessive nature here is displayed very well. The message was delivered efficiently, it was written wonderfully to show us this side of him. That said, this definitely wasn't not good!
23rd-Aug-2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
Well, it isn't. In fact, it's much more admirable to be able to write a good fic without having to depend on others' help, but a good, betaed fic is still better than a bad, unbetaed one. I'm so blind when it comes to grammar that having a little help from someone else would have only done good, since grammatical fuck-ups are a sure way to flatten even a good fic.

Anyway, betaed or not, I'm still glad you liked it. :3
22nd-Aug-2008 02:19 pm (UTC)
This was awesome, I think this is very original and great use of that little tidbit we find out about in the manga.
I love this side of Kira too.
xoxo
23rd-Aug-2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Well, it's a relief to hear it comes across as 'very original' rather than 'horribly OOC'... *flattered*
23rd-Aug-2008 12:24 pm (UTC)
Possessive!Izuru is always a wonderful read. I like the detail you put into the way Izuru's fingertips travelled across Shuu's face.

A lovely piece! Good luck in the contest!
23rd-Aug-2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I enjoyed writing him~

i'm sure gonna need some luck Ah well, just getting this finished and getting so much nice comments is rewarding. I'm glad I didn't give up on this, even though it's not as good as I wanted it to be. ^_^
23rd-Aug-2008 01:20 pm (UTC)
Wowzers that some serious case of jealousy.

I loved how you had it all revolve around the tattoo. And that Kira kept that intense part of himself hidden even from his Hisagi. :)
23rd-Aug-2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
That it is.

I really see Kira as the type of person who just bottles stuff up inside and then one day snaps and goes all insane - although the snapping and going insane part didn't actually happen in the fic, but maybe he will really claw Hisagi's face off one day. :D

...I just got the most hilarious mental image about Shuuhei waking in the middle of the night to find Kira looking all innocent with his nails sunk in his face. XD
23rd-Aug-2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
Wow, a great story! I'm starting to like this pairing (this is the first real fanfic I've read about them)!
23rd-Aug-2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Yay, that means I get all honor from converting you to the pairing~

Also, your icon is win.
30th-Aug-2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
I really like this story. Since I'm a huge fan of Shuuhei ( & Kensei) this was a very interesting take on Shuuhei's tattoo and how someone else close to him might regard it. And more so be bothered by it as well. Very well written, although such a brief look into Kira, the reader can slip into Kira's view and feel his hurt.

And yes, since the latest intermission arc in the anime, we KNOW not to mess with Kira. ;)
31st-Aug-2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your kind words, it's nice to hear you think it's well written. ^_^

Well, I haven't watched the fillers, but I think that hanging around Gin for such a long time must have made Kira a little bonkers. :D
1st-Sep-2008 04:52 am (UTC)
I wholeheartedly agree. Gin IS a bad influence on anyone. Be it active or passive. If I had to see his strange foxy face all the time... *shudders*
1st-Sep-2008 08:49 am (UTC)
Well, I wouldn't mind. And I don't think Kira minded either. Not that it alleviates the consequences at all, but still. I don't think that's an entirely bad thing, though - insane!Kira is so fun to write. <3
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